This article was written by Angela Tomlin, PhD HSPP, Co-Chief and Director of the Indiana LEND program in Pediatrics Developmental Medicine.
Every young child has some fears, but some children are much more cautious than others. When young children are consistently hesitant to approach or try new things like food, toys, or activities, they may be demonstrating a slow to warm temperament style. About 15% of children display low approach, a tendency to hang back in new situations. This interaction style is not a clinical condition, and in fact some fears are to be expected at certain ages! For example, most toddlers have stranger anxiety (fear of new people) between about 12 and 18 months. Preschool children are often afraid of the dark or supernatural beings like ghosts or zombies.
It is important to know that significant and age-inappropriate hesitance to try new things can be an early sign of anxiety. This outcome is more likely when the fears are not age-appropriate, the child’s reluctance is so significant that they cannot take part in activities even when they wish to do so, when the child’s hesitance interferes with doing activities as a family, and when there is a family history of anxiety disorder. In addition, caregivers should not ignore a sudden onset of a fear as this could indicate exposure to trauma.
There are several ways that caregivers can help young children become more confident.
- Avoid pushing the child to do something when they signal reluctance. Forcing the issue will likely backfire, making the child clingier, not less clingy.
- Consider finding a less intense way that the child can participate. For example, if a young child does not want to speak to a new person, the caregiver can coach the child to wave instead.
- When possible, do gently support the child to approach the new opportunity and help them get started. As the child seems more comfortable, the caregiver can move back but stay close to help if needed.
- Caregivers can also remind the child of times when they succeeded in trying a new thing.
- Practicing what to do in a new situation in advance, either through role playing or with small figures, can increase the chances of the child using the new skill.
With these simple tips, caregivers can help the cautious child learn to enjoy new things.
